Vet’s Office

I love my pets. I really do. That’s why I called to schedule Whitey’s nueter and shots, Briggy’s new distemper, and Liger’s new rabies the other day.So today was the big day. My vet is primarily a farm vet, who absolutely LOVES cats, so I enjoy taking my animals there. To begin the trek to Hinckley, I gathered Whitey, Liger, and Briggy. Liger and Whitey were kept away from food – Whitey because of the surgery, and Liger for a reason that you will find out soon enough. Briggy was allowed to be her normal piggish self, because she’s just that way.So Liger is put in the car first, where he prompty FREAKS OUT, runs around hysterically, and then crawls under the seat. Whitey next, who just looks very confused. What is this thing and why am I in it? Briggy last, and she’s been hauled around so much, she could probably drive the car herself.So we’re off. Whitey spends the first five minutes crying nonstop, then curls up next to my leg and falls asleep. Briggy manipulates the pillow in the back seat to her ideal position, curls up and falls asleep. Liger remains to be seen, still buried under the seat. We arrive at 9:30, drop off time for Whitey. I put him in a kennel and carry him in. Kurt, who ADORES Harold, (and rarely talks) says “Oh, a white kitty. Those are my favorite.” and starts playing with my cat. Poor Harold, he’s not the favorite anymore.Now, to tell you a little about my vet, he’s not exactly a smiler, nor a person of any emotion whatsoever. Most everything he says in monotone, and to be honest, he intrigues me – this man who doesn’t talk or show feelings very often. So when I see him smiling and hear him say the above with some emotion, I’m shocked.I tell him I’ll see him later and then do some errands, with Princess Briggy positioned just right on her pillow, and no sign of Liger other than a butt sticking out from underneath the seat.Two hours later I pull back into the vet parking lot. I grab my purse and set it on top of my car. Then I open the back door and yank Liger out by his butt. I hook Briggy onto the cat leash, and she perches, princess-like, on my shoulder. I walk into the vet’s office. Liger is quivering, absolutely terrified. I pick a chair, lift the leg, and hook the leash onto the leg of the chair. Briggy jumps down, then meanders over to the magazine table. She jumps up, chooses the tallest pile of magazines, and sits down, watching everything that happened. A dog and a cat came out, their owners paid. Liger buried his head in the crook of my arm, and Briggy swatted the dog, despite the fact that the dog was about as big as me. The others left.Kurt said “Oh, poor Liger. Let’s get you your shot.” I stood up, and instantly felt wet. All over.Liger peed all over me.Now those of you who know me know I dress in layers. I had no choice but to shed a few, since I was covered – and I mean covered – in cat urine. I lost a couple layers, and was standing there in a slightly damp form-fitting t-shirt. My worst nightmare. I turn and Kurt is doing his signature half-grin. He chuckles, throws a couple of paper towels on the floor, grabs Briggy, and heads to the exam room. I run out to my car and the only thing I can find to cover up a little is my HUGE blaze orange hoodie, big enough for a few sweatshirts underneath it.Once in the exam room he leaves us for a brief moment. Liger wastes no time and immediately poops all over the place. I grab a few paper towels and pick up as much as I can. Just after I throw it in the garbage, Kurt walks in. He grins again, tousles Liger’s fur, and says “you saved it all until you could get her good, huh old boy?”Oh, come on.Luckily, the rest of the visit was semi-uneventful. Kurt talked a lot, which isn’t normal for him. He talked to Briggy about how sickly she used to be and how she’s gotten a little plump, and talked to Liger about his apparant anxiety issue. We paid, and returned to the car. Liger hid under the seat, Briggy stretched out on my arm rest, and Whitey was quiet in the kennel. Everyone appears to be doing well now, and Whitey is looking better every hour.So here is to my awesome vet, who at least has a sense of humor…


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