Shitty Ass Shit

I’m lying here on my new king size sleep number bed (Don’t listen to any of the negativity. If you’re thinking of buying one, call Nick and I – we’ll tell you the beauty of this bed!) with five cats, and I’m lonely as hell.
Nick just called and is leaving for Eelpout. For those of you who don’t know, that’s a huge ice fishing festival (aka drunken weekend) up in Walker, MN. He packed last night, and is leaving from work today. He won’t be home until late Sunday night. So I’m home alone all weekend. Yippee. I’ve got the 30-30 in the bedroom (it’s the only gun I seem to consistenly remember how to load, so sorry scary people!), doors and windows locked, and fruit, frozen pizza, hamburger helper, and more fruit. I should be fine. Other than being extremely lonely.
Last year during eelpout I went to the Crystal with many friends, was introduced by Christina to Long Islands, tried to sleep on the sidewalk in Mora, and was brought home by Tim, with Christina following in my car and Nick following her in their truck. I puked in the driveway, got inside, puked, sat underneath the shower head until the water got cold, puked, passed out in front of the toilet, puked some more, and spent the whole next day wishing I was dead.
Obviously I won’t be doing that this year.
No, I have an exciting weekend planned. Tonight I’m watching the girl from Forest Lake try to win one of the 13 million dollar cases on Deal or No Deal. Tomorrow I might go with dad down to Blaine to drop off his rental car and pick up my glasses. At some point I’m going to spend some time with K-Fred, and the rest of the time I will obsessively shampoo carpets and cuddle with my four men. (and three women – 5 cats, 2 dogs.)
I’m mentally prepared for loads of cops in my yard, too. Last year during eelpout, I was dying my hair when a car was in the driveway. It was 1 AM. Soon three cops cars were behind the strange car, and they were searching the vehicle and the people that were in it. They left, nothing mentioned to me, and the car went away.
Ummmm…hello? It’s 1 AM and you’re searching some strange car that I’ve never seen in my driveway? So I called 911 and demanded that someone tell me what was going on.
A cop returned, to tell me that everything was fine. When asked if he could explain why this strange car was in my driveway in the first place, he said “you mean you don’t know them?”
NO I DON’T KNOW THEM! WHY DO YOU THINK THEY PULLED OUT OF MY DRIVEWAY BEFORE YOU AND WENT DOWN THE DEAD END? FOR FUN!?!?!?! BESIDES, IF SOMEONE WOULD HAVE KNOCKED ON MY DOOR AND SAID “HEY, DO YOU KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON?” I WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO TELL YOU!!!
I’m quite sure that while I was yelling, I looked irrisistably sexy in my sweats, hoodie, and with foil sticking out all over my head.
Obviously the dye didn’t turn out well, and I ended up dying my hair all one dark color, instead of the pretty auburn with blonde highlights. Jerks.
Did I mention already how much I love my sleep number bed? The best part is that it is a king. I’ve noticed two things. First, I fall asleep much quicker at night and wake up far more refreshed. Secondly, Nick sleeps better, which means he stays on his side away from me, and he doesn’t steal all the blankets while flopping around like a crappie.
Also, I hate the myspace blogging platform. While they have been desperate to copy everything that Facebook does, they forgot to be original. There is nothing that makes me crazier than when I lose an entire blog for some stupid reason, and have no way of recovering it. I’m almost tempted to stop blogging here for that very reason. Last night, my computer spontaneously decided to restart due to upgrades. I lost a blog. This morning, my fingers hit F3 while I was flailing around, yelling about my eye twitch, and I lost another entire blog. I wouldn’t be surprised if I lose this one, too. Obviously my track record is not good. All I’m asking for is a spontaneous save so that it can be recovered. It must be too much to ask.
Have you felt 600 count sheets? I don’t think I have other than in hotels, and Nick insisted I buy one set of ‘nice’ sheets for the new bed. I love them. Plus, they are crisp enough that they make noise when I wiggle my toes, and my cats pounce all over them. I love that.
Does anyone know how to make your eye stop twitching? It’s extremely noticable to other people, and it started about two days ago and just keeps getting worse and worse. It’s making me nuts.
Anyway, I’m going to go eat something and try to figure out ways to stay sane this weekend. Soon, my friends. Soon.

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