Take My Mommy Away! Take Her!

So Ollie and I have had the occassional disagreement lately.  I believe he should stay in his carseat.  He believes he should unbuckle himself.  This has sparked debate and discussion time and again with friends.  What do I do about this?  I’m terrified of what might happen. 

A suggestion was made to talk to the local police and see if they would be willing to “scare” him into staying in his seat.  I totally got shot down in that department.  (“We are not here to SCARE children, we’re here to be their friends.”…..  “Well it’s not like I wanted you to wave your gun around and threaten him, just with some authority tell him to stay buckled up!”)  The next suggestion similar to that was to tell Ollie that if the police caught him unbuckled, they would take me away or I would be in a lot of trouble.

So that’s what I’ve been telling him.

I should have known better.  I know Ollie well enough to know how this will end.

Today I was performing occupancy checks on houses, and was sitting at a rural intersection with no traffic.  I was programming the GPS on my phone for the next address, and I got the dreaded message “address cannot be found”.  Just then I notice a sheriff’s deputy (not in my county) pull up next to me.  Sweet.

He rolls down his window, I roll down mine.  He asks if I’m okay, and I say yes, just trying to find a road in a nearby town and my GPS can’t find it.  He offers to help, pulling out his plat book, and starts hunting for the street I’m looking for.

From the backseat I hear “Mommy.  Mommy.  Mommy.  Mommy….”

“What Oliver?”

“Is that a police man?”

“Yes, it sure is!”

“Cool!”  There was silence, and I mess with my phone a bit more, hunting for the address again.  I feel my car shift and look in my rear view mirror to see my two year old dancing around like an idiot behind me…. out of his carseat.

My mind raced.  I did the mad-mom-growl-whisper and said “You get in your seat RIGHT NOW!” and glanced over, relieved that the deputy wasn’t paying attention.  I don’t think I realized it at that moment, but I think part of me was scared that I would get in trouble for him not being buckled up.  The rest of me was just shocked.

Was this my kid’s attempt at getting rid of me?  Was he testing to see if the police really would yell at me, or take me away?

Why didn’t I let them take me away?

As I drove down the road with my kid doing his steady tone noise super loud (damn that kid has amazing lung capacity!) I began to wonder if jail was a quiet place.  With books?  I like books.  Maybe a piano?  Do they have pianos in jail?  I began to fantasize about turning around and begging the cop to just take me.

I know better.  I know I don’t want to go to jail, and just a few hours away from my kids leaves me sad and missing them.

I wonder if Ollie feels the same.

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