Back off, mom!

We stopped at a park today while I was touring the state of Minnesota to eat some Subway and burn some energy. After we filled our tummies, we went to play. Nick encouraged Ollie to try to walk across these:

Apparently I’m paranoid. But I do know better. I was hovering. He was clinging for life, scared to try to move from one hanging platform to the next, and I was instructing, cheering, reaching out…

And Nick said “Back off, mommy. You need to let him do it.”

I shrunk away, knowing he was right (must let that preschooler discover he can do things instead of instilling doubt in him!), but still just wanting to help so much.

And you know what? He made it. He did it, all by himself, which prompted me to jump around like an idiot in the middle of the park and then bust into a quick rendition of “We Did It!” from Dora. Wow, how my life has changed.

Anyway, play resumed, and I quickly found myself at the top of a platform that Ollie was climbing to. I rushed over to get this shot:

I’m not kidding you, as the shutter clicked, he was saying “You need to back off mommy and let me do it myself!”

It’s a sad day.

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Huh. Next time I should look before I drink.

Don't drink and count calories!

Don't drink and count calories!

That’s unfortunate.

Also, who the hell only drinks 5 oz of wine? I mean, seriously? My wine glass is way bigger than that! And I do not have Courtney Cox’s glass from “Cougartown”. Although I would appreciate one for Christmas. Anyone? And hey, while I’m thinking of it, how does she drink all that wine and not weigh 485 pounds? Huh. I have just decided I will hold that girly-bitterness that accompanies the realization that a specific girl sucks because they can eat (drink) whatever they want. Pfft on you, Courtney.

Okay, I still love you. And Cougartown. Please share your meal plans, so I can learn how to be so skinny and still enjoy massive amounts of wine on a regular basis. Or tell me it’s all fiction. That works, too.

Minor Rant About Having Children

I follow a number of birth boards. And a number of them cause strong emotions to erupt from me on occassion. And while this overall is pretty innocent, there is one line that just grates on me.

“I think she went to get away from all the craziness at home.”

So backtrack to a few days ago, when I began reading “The Strong-Willed Child” (insert all your praise here – I’ve heard it all, trust me). The introduction refers to a woman boarding a bus in L.A. with seven “rambunctious” children in tow. When asked if they were all hers or if there was some kind of picnic going on, she replies “They’re all mine, and believe me, it’s no picnic!”

Okay, here’s my problem. I have two kids. I love pregnancy. If I could be pregnant all the time, I probably would. Yet there is a cold, hard reality after the pregnancy – you have to raise them, too.

So my first question is why on Earth would you have this many kids? I mean, let’s think about this logically. If you have a baby every 12 months – which you shouldn’t be doing anyway (insert remark about higher rates of autism in babies closer than 24 months apart) – your oldest will be 7 when you had that last one. Really, in seven years, with 7 kids, it didn’t suddenly dawn on you “Wait… this is a lot of work. Perhaps I should not have any more right now”????

Yet maybe you wanted a big family, and you appreciate your big family. So insert my other rant. Please, by all means, tell me if this isn’t fair. If you go to the hospital to get away from the “craziness” of your kids to have another kid, should you be having more kids? I understand needing a few hours to yourself. I still don’t get the taking-a-vacation-by-myself-to-get-away-from-the-kids thing. I’m a firm believer in the “you had kids and now you get to take care of them” theory.

Before you say “but you don’t understand, my kid is so hard to handle”, remember – I’m reading Dobson. My kid is insane. While he may not trump everyone’s kid, he trumps most in level of activity, general naughtiness, and sassing. He also suffers from RAV, or “random acts of violence”. (Yes, I created that term myself.) He’s equal to approximately four of my little girl, who is not yet two – and I figure probably at least two of any “normal” boy. So I get it – kids can be hard.

So at this point I will repeat – I love pregnancy. I’d have a million babies if I could. But I know that I cannot be a devoted mother right now to more than two. If I have more than two, I might just become clinically insane (extended vacation) or get pregnant to have more babies so I can go to the hospital (vacation), or simply duct tape them all to the walls. Okay, not really on the duct tape.

Does this mean I will never have more? I do not know. All I know is right now I cannot handle it, right now it is too much to think about, and right now it would lead to my certain demise.

My point is that if you are going to have kids, I feel you should be committed to having them, not then looking for excuses to get away because you can’t handle it. And if you are lucky, like me, and have an insane one (or more, you poor soul!), then it’s probably a wise idea to obtain a good, sturdy, reliable method of birth control and take one day at a time for a while until you’re sure that you won’t be seeking hospital visits for a break (not a relaxing place, anyway!) and grumbling about how your life is no “picnic” with the kids you have.

Very cool!

My project relating psychology and childbirth was a huge undertaking, but I got an excellent grade on it from my teacher. I was VERY pleasantly surprised when I logged in today though and discovered my peer reviews were posted. First of all, thank you SO MUCH fellow classmates! The kind words mean a lot. I just had to share, because I was super proud, and it increases my confidence in my ability to be a great midwife someday! 🙂

Comments by Peers about Your Project:

o I thought that this presentation fits Josyln and her personality, and she picked a good topic for her.
o I especially liked all the pictures, and thought it was well laid out. The parts about Post Partum Depression is extremely helpful to all new mothers.
o I personally knew that my “baby blues” had turned into post partum depression after a few weeks of not feeling better. I received therapy, and breathing techniques for my anxiety. I felt guilty when I could not bond with nursing, and was upset that my pregnancy was not as planned.
o I found the information on epidurals interesting.
o I read a lot of books to get prepares and felt overwhelmed.
o I thought it was intriguing that woman who experience a spontaneous vaginal birth show a great improvement in mood and self-esteem. I had a C-section and I felt like garbage after, I wish I would have had a vaginal birth to see if this really works and I am sure my post-partum depression wouldn’t of been so bad.
o I thought it was cool that you added your own life experience in the paper about you using a midwife. It shows that you know what you are talking about because you have first-hand experience.
o I enjoyed this paper and it sparked my interest because I have three children and the joys of childbirth are fascinating to me.
o I liked that it was a slide show and that you included pictures of your children as a personal touch.
o I also learned some new info. Ex. ( I had no idea that dads could suffer from baby blues)
o I was unaware that a person could suffer PTSD from something as normal life as childbirth. I found this very interesting to read about.
o There was a lot of information that I can relate to being that I am a mom. This is very helpfull when trying to relate to a topic.
o I thought that this presentation was very organized and creative. I found the project to be very interesting and could easily keep my attention. The overall theme of the project seemed to match, which was good. This project exceeded the minimum expectations.
o One thing that would be applicable in real life would be how a mother and father can both be affected by a pregnancy. The mental disorders that can occur after childbirth are also something that would be helpful for a “parents to be”.
o It met and exceeded the minimum requirements, and it was done in a creative way that kept my attention, not to mention it was on a subject I thought was very interesting.
I thought this was written very well and organized, and it had a good flow to it. The information presented was a great expansion on the limited information most woman already know about Pitocin and child labor. I didn’t know Pitocin inhibited the release of hormones that were responsible for bonding, had I known that I might not have been induced, but luckily I breastfed.
o This is great information for expecting mothers and any woman who plans to have children.
o I loved this project! I really liked how she chose a topic which coincides with her career choice. You can tell by reading that she has enthusiasm toward this topic, and that she’s passionate about what she’s teaching us- this is refreshing, and it really draws the reading into the information. This is also applicable to real life in that both men and women alike can learn about these aspects of psychology and pregnancy. Men have children too, they just have it way easier than us!
o The slides were fresh as well! The photographs really play with the words, it’s easy to follow and pleasant to read. I like that every slide has a photograph, and even though there’s a lot of information within the project,it’s easy to read and follow. Much though was put into the preparation and look of this project- it is very finished and completed.

o Very nice presentation! Extremely pleasing to the eye! The pictures were a great touch! Your babies are adorable! Your report provided a lot of good information!
o I gave Joslyn a 95 for such a great job.
o The first aspect that was especial helpful and real to life is the information about the fathers. I heard rumors that the father can feel the same way as the mother but I just would laugh when I would hear it. I didn’t understand why my husband would be so exhausted after I was the one having the baby. Without fail he was the one zonked out right after the baby was born and I was the one holding the baby dealing with after contractions calling the nurse because my husband can’t wake up to help with something. I have four babies and the after math was all the same with each one. I also found that my husband would gain the same amount of weight as I would during the pregnancy too. My husband says it’s because I would make him eat with me but I just think it all sounds funny. I guess I just didn’t realize that the father was so connected to the mother. I think that’s a beautiful thing now that I think about it. I also thought the baby blues was interesting to with both mother and father.
o The second aspect that was especial intriguing was the bonding section in this power point. I had three out of four kids induced and received that hormone Pitocin. I however breastfed all of my babies so I did bond with them. I was very disturbed though while I was reading about how it is difficult to bond with your baby if you get this Pitocin running through your body. I am saddened because not all women breastfeed and I hear about situations where a mother has a hard time bonding with her baby.
o I thought the tone of the presentation was wonderful. It was easy to read, funny, and personal which really kept me engaged and actively paying attention to all of the information. There were a lot of suggestions of what a woman should do during and after pregnancy, which I normally would not respond well to, but the way the information was presented I was more open to suggestion.
o I found the information about oxtocin to be very interesting. It sounded vaguely familiar but I didn’t realize how much there was to it. I wasn’t aware that common medical intervention during labor caused it to stop being released. If I end up having children it will definitely be something to think about.

What is even more exciting is that some information was sent out into the world and received! I love the comments that people are going to consider all of this information in the future – that is AWESOME!

Okay, my little ego-party is done now. 🙂

Dear College Career…

Dear Pre-Nursing College Career,

Today I wave goodbye to you. My pre-reqs are done. I have achieved the first goal in a long line of goals related to education. I’ll admit, it makes me a little sad. I’m scared for the next chapter, but excited at the same time. So onward I go, working now on BSN generals to kill time before I start the program. Oh yeah, and getting that extra degree that I might as well get. 🙂

Psychology and Pregnancy

During my studies, I decided that linking psychology with pregnancy would be a fun topic to explore.  As I did initial research and narrowed things down, I ended up with a project aimed towards oxytocin use in labor and the psychological effects, postpartum depression and PTSD as it relates to birth experiences.  I completely believe in terms like “birth rape” or “birth trauma” – I do feel that women can be left feeling abused, mistreated, and taken advantage of.  I thought it was interesting to tie that into PTSD and studies done on the topic.

Anyway, so here’s a little Powerpoint if you are curious.  I should add that I am not saying that oxytocin should never be used – I’m fairly natural-birth friendly, but every situation is different.  Mom and provider need to weigh pros and cons and decide what is best for them.  I don’t necessarily take a side for or against, but side with education and well thought out choices.

So here you go – enjoy!

View this document on Scribd

All The Things I’m Going to Do After I Finish This Semester

Burn my A&P book.  (Okay, not really, because I actually kind of like it.  We have established a relationship now.)

Apply for the nursing program (FINALLY!!!!)

Get my CNA.

Do my real estate continuing ed like a good real estate agent. 

Clean my bathroom until it is SPOTLESS.  This means a good hour + of scrubbing tub, shower, and sink.  SPOTLESS. 

Clean my office until it is spotless.

Get rid of a ton of shit that just sits around this house and I’m sick of.

Post the kid’s old clothes I’m getting rid of on thredup.com

Get my stupid file cabinet out of Emmie’s room and into the newly clean office.

Convince Nick to get rid of his ginormous computer monitor that he doesn’t use.  Seriously, what’s the point dude?

Shampoo carpets.

Read a book.  Any book that I don’t HAVE to learn anything from.  (I’m willing to learn, just don’t want the pressure of NEEDING to learn from it.)

Paint Emmie’s room.

Paint Ollie’s room.

Get a new window since I have some ghost or something breaking mine.

Do a ton of BPO’s.  Hey, I can hope.

Close some houses for some AWESOME clients!  Woo hoo!

Bake something.

Cook something.

Start a 9 credit summer semester.

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